Mixed Up
by VTPM
Summary: As a team exercise, Pein decides to mix up the two-man teams and have them complete a mission together.
1. New Teams

"We're what?" Konan asked, giving Pein a look that suggested she thought he was absolutely insane.

Pein sighed, already able to tell no one was liking his idea. "We're going to switch up the teams and I'll assign you a mission of sorts so that we can become better acquainted with one another and hopefully work together better as a team over all."

Itachi raised his hand. "I thought the teams we're already in were with the people we would get along best with... Is it really a wise decision to make S-rank criminals be forced into a mission with people they don't like?"

Several others nodded in agreement.

"The point of this is so we can learn tolerance for our fellow Akatsuki in case something happens where we need to work with someone other than our teammate." Pein told him. "Now to assign the new teams... Everyone put your name on the paper you were given and place it in the bowl."

Grumbling, they all did as they were told.

Once that was done, Pein asked, "Who'd like to go first?"

No one volunteered.

Taking a deep breath, Pein hissed, "Fine. I will."

He immediately regretted it.

Shaking slightly, he said, "It seems my new partner will be Tobi..."

Hidan burst out laughing and fell to the floor.

Now that _that_ name was out of the bowl, suddenly everyone seemed a bit more okay with the idea of a new teammate and Konan picked next, getting Kisame's name, which neither of them had any complaints about [mostly because neither of them really knew each other very well].

Kakuzu muttered something under his breath and reached into the bowl, but gulped nervously when he read the name.

"Who'd ya get?" Hidan asked nosily, wondering why his partner had paled.

"Zetsu..."

Hidan actually gave him a sympathetic look. "Just don't piss him off, and you should be fine."

Deidara pulled out the next paper and frowned. "Hidan..."

"Ah shit, looks like you're stuck with me Blondie~" Hidan grinned.

"Anyone want to trade...?" Deidara asked, though shook his head. "Never mind..." The only ones who would be willing to trade were Pein and Kakuzu, and as much as he didn't like the thought of being with Hidan, Zetsu and Tobi scared him even more.

"Looks like me and Itachi are a team then." Sasori said, looking over at the Uchiha.

Though his expression was difficult to read, the puppet master thought he saw a hint of relief on the man's face that he hadn't gotten a very annoying teammate.

"Everyone get with your new partner so I can assign you your missions." Pein said, though scowled as Tobi skipped over to him cheerily, and he cast Konan a 'help me' look, which she simply shrugged at.

* * *

It took a bit of time, but finally the tasks were handed out to each of the groups, who were currently preparing to leave the base to complete the said tasks.

Pein was muttering curses under his breath for his luck, trying to ignore Tobi and his chatter as best that he could.

 _I really regret this now... I'll just get the mission done quickly and then have the teams put back to normal_... He thought to himself in any attempt to keep his sanity.

* * *

Kakuzu was shifting anxiously, worried about the fact that he was partnered with Zetsu. He knew that he could be dangerous if he wanted to be, and the thought of angering the plant man brought him much fear, even despite his virtual immortality.

 _And I'm going to have to keep my own anger in check... I can't attack him if I get frustrated like I can with Hidan_... He sighed. _This will not be fun._..

* * *

"Get over here and help me, hn!" Deidara yelled at the Jashinist, who had made himself comfortable on the couch and wasn't lifting a finger to help the bomber pack supplies.

"Nah, I'm fine where I am... You look like you're handling it pretty well on your own."

Deidara snarled to himself. Hidan was going to be of no help on this mission, that was for sure. Unless, of course, there was killing. Hidan would be more than happy to help with that.

* * *

"I'm looking forward to work with you, Kisame. I don't believe we've ever been introduced very well." Konan said. She was thinking fairly positively to this new development. She got to learn more about Kisame and she got a break from Pein and his annoying leader habits.

Kisame nodded his agreement. He was glad to be getting away from Itachi and his ego for a while, as well as his lack of humor and personality. The Uchiha had never appreciated his attempts at conversation or his jokes. He hoped Konan would.

* * *

Sasori packed his bag silently, not sure how to start a conversation with Itachi. He'd never been alone with him before and frankly, the thought was slightly daunting. He didn't want to do something wrong and get attacked by the Uchiha. Despite being calm and collected, he knew that Itachi had his triggers [especially the mention of Sasuke].

The puppet master nitpicked at his cloak as he waited for Itachi to finish. _Don't let me screw this up_...

Finally the black haired man finished and approached Sasori. "Let's go... We should get this mission over with as soon as we can..."

Sasori nodded and quickly followed him. He already missed Deidara... Despite always arguing, he still enjoyed talking to the blonde about art. He highly doubted that the definition of art would be a topic of interest to Itachi...

 _Let this mission be a quick, easy one.._..


	2. Starting Off

Deidara rubbed his temples in frustration and hissed. How did Kakuzu stand being around Hidan?! They'd started out for their mission to infiltrate a small village that was about a 2 day journey from the base and take any information they had on the other villages or the Tailed Beasts only 30 minutes ago and the priest had been talking _non-stop._ Not to mention that this mission could be completed much quicker if Deidara could just use his clay birds to fly them to their destination, but Hidan just _happens_ to have a fear of heights and absolutely refuses to fly anywhere!

"Would you shut up, hn?!" Deidara snapped.

Hidan paused in his speech about Jashin and gave the blonde an offended look. "Excuse me..?"

"I said _shut up_... You're nearly as bad as Tobi!"

"Hey, don't compare me to him, you bitch!"

"I'll do whatever the hell I want, hn!"

"Oh fucking really?!"

That's when Deidara remembered how Kakuzu put up with him.

Grinning, he grabbed some clay and the mouths on his palms spat out two spider bombs which he threw at Hidan's face.

The next 20 minutes were quiet bliss until Hidan's jaw healed and re-hinged itself. That was when the screaming match was resumed.

* * *

Kakuzu was a bit more relaxed now that they were out on the road and that he now knew their mission was to go after a shinobi with a high bounty on his head. Just knowing that the job was something he enjoyed helped take the edge off the fact he was being followed by a split-personality, homicidal, cannibalistic plant man that he had no idea what he could do.

Zetsu was silent for the entire time they'd spent together so far, though occasionally he saw him making faces, probably having some sort of internal argument with himself like he was known to do.

Kakuzu sweatdropped. He had problems trusting others, and not knowing what Zetsu was thinking about made him feel nervous all over again, but he held back the urge to snap at him. That was one of the few things he liked about Hidan. His immortality allowed Kakuzu to take out any frustration he had on him when he couldn't help his violent impulses and the priest always had it in him to forgive his actions, and whatever thoughts he had came right out his mouth. Hidan was bold and out spoken, and despite the fact that sometimes he talked _too_ much, he didn't hide anything. It made Kakuzu feel comfortable enough to not have a constant monitor on his movements.

Zetsu however was far too hard for Kakuzu to consider trusting.

 _I'm not sure I want to know what's going on in his head._.. He thought to himself, suppressing a shudder.

Little did he know, Zetsu was simply arguing with himself over what fertilizers worked best with what kinda of plants...

* * *

Konan couldn't help but laugh as Kisame told her yet another embarrassing secret of the great Itachi Uchiha. She hadn't known that the best Genjutsu user known had such childish habits. Not only did he collect various cards, he kept a diary, had several handheld gaming systems, and enjoyed an assortment of cartoons.

"Plus he's an absolute perfectionist over his nails and hair. It takes him an hour to paint just his fingernails sometimes."

Konan rolled her eyes. "He's more of a girl than me from the sounds of it. Though I suspect Deidara isn't any better."

Kisame grinned toothily. "I heard he makes Sasori paint his nails. Apparently Deidara is horrible at using a paint brush of any sorts."

"Oh, what an artist indeed!" Konan snickered. She quite enjoyed this change of pace. Pein was far too serious sometimes, not to mention she got tired of him constantly dropping hints that he was interested in her. She was very much aware.

"So," Kisame said. "About you and Pein... Are you two together or..?"

Konan stiffened and looked away, hoping she wasn't blushing at all. "N-No way..! Hmph, he only wishes!"

The shark man picked up on the denial in her voice and simply rolled his eyes, deciding not to push her in case Konan's temper got the best of her and she attacked. He knew she had her kind side, but he knew she could be violent if provoked.

Leaving that conversation bit go, Kisame asked, "What mission did Sir Leader give us anyways?"

Glad that the topic had been changed, Konan replied, "We have a shinobi escort to assassinate. They're not to be allowed to get into Konoha for whatever reason..."

Kisame nodded, though inwardly he frowned. Assassinations weren't his strong spot at all. That just wasn't the kind of job his sword Samehada did.

Glancing anxiously at Konan, he silently hoped she knew her way around this sort of killing method.

* * *

Itachi was well aware of Sasori's curious gaze on him as he wrote a new entry about the current situation Pein had put them in in his diary. He wasn't having a problem with the puppet master as of yet, though he was slightly irritated that the red head was trying to read his super secret diary over his shoulder.

"Do you mind..?" Itachi asked, making Sasori jump and fall behind a few steps again with his hands up in defense. "Sorry, Itachi..."

He was well aware Uchihas were known to have fire attacks and being a wooden puppet, he didn't want to have such an attack used against him. He was almost certain it would kill him.

Sasori briefly wondered how Deidara was holding up. Being with Itachi wasn't as nerve wracking as he first assumed it would be, but knowing Hidan's habits and Deidara's short temper, they had no doubt gotten into a fight by now.

 _I wonder if Deidara's been sacrificed yet, or if Hidan's in pieces somewhere... Without Kakuzu, he's really doomed... He can't be so cocky without someone there to sew him back together, since his entire fighting style is just charging in recklessly._..

Sasori was glad Deidara's fighting style wasn't like Hidan's. Both Deidara and himself attacked from a distance and it made them easily able to use their art for utter destruction.

 _I hope Hidan didn't sacrifice him... I think I'd miss him_...

Itachi was relieved that Sasori was lost in thought and was no longer trying to look into what he was writing. It was quite irritating if he did say so himself. Kisame never tried that with him [he just waited until the Uchiha was sleeping then read what he wrote for the day].

Though he enjoyed that Sasori was much less talkative than the shark man. The silence allowed him better concentration and left him to his thoughts instead of participating in pointless conversation. Itachi personally would prefer working by himself, though he wasn't very against Kisame or Sasori. Neither were overly annoying and he was okay with them.

 _Poor Pein though... I wonder how his sanity is holding up... If we're lucky, perhaps he snapped and found a way to kill Tobi_...

* * *

"Leader-sama? Hey leader-sama? Tobi has a question, leader-sama."

Pein trembled uncontrollably, struggling to not attack the masked man who was doing who-knows-what several feet behind him.

"What, _Tobi?_ " Pein snarled.

"Leader-sama, why's the sky blue? Tobi asked Deidara, but he never answers! He just blows Tobi up!"

"I don't know Tobi... Why don't you ask Itachi next time you see him?" The Akatsuki leader said between clenched teeth. He hoped that the Uchiha would use his so-called hatred on the annoyance and trap him in a Genjutsu for the rest of eternity. Yes, that would be nice.

"Okay! Tobi'll do that! Hey leader-sama? Tobi has another question!"

Pein groaned and buried his face in his hands, earning him a concerned look from the masked man. "Is leader-sama okay?"

"No, I'm not okay..."

Tobi gasped. "What's wrong?! Is leader-sama sick?!"

"No... It's just that you're the devil..." Pein muttered.

Tobi stiffened and whispered quietly, "A-Are... you saying... Tobi's a bad boy...?"

Without thinking, Pein snapped, "Yes! You are!"

The masked man shook violently and let out a hiccup of a sob.

Pein realized his mistake at that moment. "W-Wait, Tobi don't cry..."

Tobi immediately burst out into tears and ran off down the path, leaving Pein to scream in frustration and follow him. As much as he was okay with abandoning Tobi, he wasn't about to let all the other members mock him for his plan being a failure.

After all, he had a reputation to keep up, and if he couldn't even deal with Tobi for more than an hour, it would surely be shattered.

Taking a deep breath to steel his nerves, Pein took off after Tobi, silently hoping calming down the hyperactive man wouldn't be too difficult.


End file.
